forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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