She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
