apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"