Banned from zoo.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
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all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
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Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later