First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.