he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
