Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray

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(614): The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray http://tfl.nu/ggtu

Replies (7) Good night (2975) Bad night (559)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.

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(808): It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex. http://tfl.nu/n6q7

Replies (29) Good night (595) Bad night (4353)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420

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(610): We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420 http://tfl.nu/8lzk

Replies (27) Good night (6717) Bad night (675)
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(551): View more from New Jersey

Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK

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(551): Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK http://tfl.nu/f4xz

Replies (6) Good night (3739) Bad night (991)
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(360): View more from Washington

I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.

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(360): I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now. http://tfl.nu/b1mw

Replies (8) Good night (2797) Bad night (585)
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(972): View more from Texas

About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.

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(972): About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised. http://tfl.nu/d2m0

Replies (5) Good night (1468) Bad night (633)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.

(262): View more from Wisconsin

I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.

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(262): Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward. (262): I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win. http://tfl.nu/2vvo

Replies (18) Good night (722) Bad night (1722)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.

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(605): Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you. http://tfl.nu/wiel

Replies (26) Good night (1387) Bad night (821)
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(562): View more from California

Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night

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(562): Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night http://tfl.nu/ygnc

Replies (4) Good night (915) Bad night (429)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.

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(208): Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult. http://tfl.nu/xgis

Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (739)
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(253): View more from Washington

I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH

(360): View more from Washington

Yes

(253): View more from Washington

O.K.

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(253): I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH (360): Yes (253): O.K. http://tfl.nu/wpv0

Replies (4) Good night (1389) Bad night (915)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall

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(+44): want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want (1+44): brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall http://tfl.nu/0u3p

Replies (6) Good night (2054) Bad night (403)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?

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(706): I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get? http://tfl.nu/m9m9

Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (286)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom

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(802): I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom http://tfl.nu/99fe

Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (292)
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(210): View more from Texas

My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.

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(210): My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels. http://tfl.nu/r3d1

Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (299)

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