He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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