I am puke
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize