everyone is single if you try hard enough
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
