Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
