my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Everyone says I win the strip club
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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