dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
