Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
