dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
