guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
