D3 body, D1 cock
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
They have beer where we have blood.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
