Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I am available for nakedness
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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