I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
