I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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