you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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