my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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