how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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