I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
