i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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