I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
