I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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