He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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