I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
