I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
