so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
