HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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