need another drink. this is the easiest way
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
