So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
