Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
