Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!

(1-703): View more from Virginia

I see a marketing opportunity

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(647): View more from Ontario

The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?

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(813): View more from Florida

literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(757): View more from Virginia

just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life

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(757): View more from Virginia

so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?

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(614): View more from Ohio

the wall and i were having dominance issues.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"

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