Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here