Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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