apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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