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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.

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• (925): View more from California

  She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.

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• (831): View more from California

  i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something

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• (561): View more from Florida

  So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.

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• (212): View more from New York

  That accounts for only three of the penises

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave

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• (818): View more from California

  My lighter is stuck in my beard.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome

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