Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
