u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
