you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I want a musical about memes.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
