Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
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Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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