you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
