I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im holly from the hills drunk
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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