Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
