girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize