C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
