I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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