I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
