she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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