We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
