"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
