help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
