Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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