is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I need a beard to bite.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
