Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
