if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
