What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
