4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
