Me. At least after what I've been through.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
