they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How does one acquire holy water?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
