Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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