whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
