How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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