just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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