shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
the night ended with taco bell and tears
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You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
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Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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