Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
